- Acts 1:7 (AMPC): Times and seasons are in God’s control, not yours – God checked me when I realized that I have no control over the true purpose for a relationship in my life. We get so attached to the people that come into our lives that we forget God’s power. Submit to God’s timing and stop using this time to wonder if you all will get back together. Become acquainted with God, not the unhealthy desire to control time and events.
- Philippians 3:16 (AMPC): He was never truly yours in the first place – Although you and your ex may have grown close as couple, you were never married. Therefore, in God’s eyes, you were never more than friends/sister and brother in Christ. Shocking, I know. But, it’s true. You haven’t officially attained a man until he becomes your spouse. If you’ve given your life to the Lord, He’s the only thing you’ve truly attained. Hold fast to Him.
- 1 Peter 4:8 (AMPC): I still love him, what do I do? – Yes, you should still love him. Remember that love (patience, kindness, etc.) is an action, not a feeling (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, AMPC). Feelings can fade with time. Love, on the other hand, should never end because we are called to love everyone. Regardless of whether he did you wrong or if you guys had the best relationship, love him through prayer. No, I’m not talking about praying for you all to get back together. Pray for his maturity and growth in the Lord. If you truly love him, you’ll want the best for him, regardless of whether that includes you or not.
- Is it ok to still think I’m his wife? – Pray for your ex as a friend and sister, not as a future wife. Remember that you can only hold true to something if you’ve already attained it or God has claimed it as yours. Don’t be foolish by using your mind to plan a future with someone God hasn’t said is yours. James 4:13-17 (AMPC) tells us that we don’t know what tomorrow will bring. For all you know, God could’ve only had your ex in your life to prepare you for your actual husband. Or, he could be your husband but God is simply using your break up to mature you for marriage. Either way, don’t claim him as yours until you know from God, not your emotions.
- What do I do now? – Focus less on whether he’s your man and more on how God can use this time to prepare you to be a wife for whoever He desires. Commit to investing complete trust in God, regardless of the outcome. God will keep you at peace when your mind is stayed on Him (Isaiah 26:3 KJV). Understand that because of Christ, your destiny will be promised with or without your ex in your life. Direct all the hurt, pain, and sorrow you feel into energy for God’s Word. If you don’t know how to read God’s Word, pray, or want to grow closer to God, I encourage you to check out my book, I Believe in God, Now What? which is on sale for 3 dollars! (or get the FREE book sample below)
“But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you.”
– Jeremiah 1:7
This was me. “God I’m not ready,” “God I’m too young,” “God I’m not experienced,” “God I need a mentor,” “God I don’t have the money,” “I need to read more books,” “God, I’m scared!”
I gave God every excuse in the book as to why I wasn’t qualified to do what he called me to do. Too many times I let an opportunity pass to operate in my calling because, instead, I was operating in disobedience and fear.
Like Jonah in the bible, who ran away from his assignment to deliver an important message to the people of Nineveh, I’ve run away from my assignment too. People see me now and they tell me they’re so “inspired” by the Deliverance Conference that I’m hosting this October… but if they only knew the struggle and the teeth God had to pull from me to get to this point…God told me to have this conference YEARS ago, and so many times I put it on the back burner or occupied my time with something else because I just didn’t feel “ready”. I’ve read books after books, watched videos, sermons, read articles about spiritual warfare… but I thought, let me delay this conference because I still didn’t feel “ready”.
Until one morning God woke me up from my deep sleep, and called me to repentance… just like Jonah, who found himself sleeping on the boat in the midst of the deadliest storm. It went like this…
“Karolyne, wake up.”
(I open my eyes at the voice of the Holy Spirit)
Then I hear 7 extremely loud car horns outside my window: beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!!!
(I doze back to sleep)
He whispers again: “wake up.”
Immediately, I hear 7 more loud car beeps outside my window: beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!!!
I fall back asleep one more time….
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!!! 7 more times!!!
Suddenly, I awake and sit up on my bed! I’m thinking, what is going on and who the heck is beeping outside my window!!! Then the Holy Spirit leads me to count the beeps and find the meaning. So 3×7 is 21. The biblical meaning for the number 21 according to The Bible study site, symbolizes willful wickedness. It is closely related to the number 13, which symbolizes sin, rebellion and depravity.
I started balling tears! I felt so convicted. Immediately I got on my knees and repented. I truly was being an evil and disobedient servant. At that moment, in my heart, I knew exactly what I was running away from.
That morning, after I repented, I called my Pastor and shared what happened. She said many things that both affirmed and convicted me. Because I had been hiding, I wasn’t in the position to serve where I was needed and she assured me that there was a great need even though I may not see it. This encouraged me and affirmed me to move forward with the specific call that God placed on my life.
I knew exactly what I needed to do. It was time to act NOW. No more excuses, no more thinking, no more paying attention to the fear, even though I was still afraid, I decided to go forth and finally do what God called me to do.
I officially announced that I was having a Deliverance Conference! I launched the website (which I had already purchased two years prior but never put it to use). I didn’t even know where the conference was going to be held, how I would pay for it, or any of the logistics. I just knew I could no longer be disobedient. The idea that God sent someone to come outside my window to beep 21 times in increments of 7 right after each time He woke me up, made me desire THAT type of obedience. The type of obedience that says, “no matter how crazy I look or how crazy I feel, I will trust you Lord. I will do what you tell me to do.” What would you do if the Holy Spirit sent you driving to a random neighborhood, sat you in the parking lot, and said, “I want you to beep when I tell you to beep 7 times.” Would you do it?
Since I took that first step, God has shown himself faithful throughout the process. I’ve been given a venue to host the conference for free, many people have volunteered and stepped in to help, and so much more. As October rapidly approaches, I’m learning more and more to rely on God’s strength, provision, and wisdom vs. my own abilities and understanding.
It hasn’t been an easy journey, but here is what I’ve learned along the way:
1.You may never feel 100% ready to walk in your calling and that’s ok. You’re ready when God says you’re ready… not when you “think” you are. Trust Him.
2. It’s not about you or how you feel. This is bigger than all of us! Someone’s life, someone’s salvation, someone’s hope is tied to your obedience.
3. God requires complete obedience not partial obedience. Partial or delayed obedience is still disobedience.
4. God does the work, we’re just the vessels… but you must be emptied, purified, and tested for His use.
5. God will provide everything you need… just ask Him. Whether it be provision, wisdom, strength, etc. There is nothing too hard for Him.
If you find yourself in a place where you’re running away from God’s call on your life, I encourage you to repent. Ask yourself, “what is making me run? what is stealing my attention, who or what have I been listening too? What is making me feel like I’m not ready? Is it the fear of failure? Is it the fear of man? Am I too worried about what people are going to think of me when I step out in faith?”
You are needed in the Body of Christ. You are valuable and you are purposed with a specific assignment from God. Don’t let a demon in hell or anybody else tell you otherwise! Do not delay, when God says it’s time, it’s time!
To attend the FREE conference that I am having in Atlanta, Ga. register below.
Sister, your willingness or unwillingness to help other believers succeed says a lot about your faith in God or lack thereof. Be honest with yourself… do you cringe when your sister in Christ gets the promotion you wanted, engaged, pregnant, launches a new product, etc.? Or are you truly and genuinely happy for them without any ounce of resentment or jealousy?
The world teaches us to guard our “success” and not to share it with anyone… hide our failures and pretend we’re perfect. Don’t tell the secret ingredient, don’t share that information, don’t let them know how you did it or else they’ll take it, run with it, and be BETTER than you! For a lot of us, that’s our biggest fear. We try to passively tear down our sisters in Christ because we don’t know our value and worth in Him. We do everything we can to feel better about ourselves–better than them. So we try to keep up with everything they’re doing and we try to do MORE on top of that so we get burnt-out and forfeit our own purpose.
All the while, we could’ve been walking in our purpose and calling while simultaneously encouraging, supporting, and helping our sisters walk in theirs. You can’t bring a worldly mindset into the Body of Christ. We are the body. We are one. We all have a purpose and a specific role to play and no part of the body is better or more important than the other. We are all on the same team and we all have something unique to bring to the table. When you think of any sports team, take basketball for example, when someone shoots that last 3-pointer to win the championship, minutes before the clock, we all win, we all celebrate, we are all champions! When we look at our teammates with jealousy or envy, we’re missing the bigger picture and this is the enemy’s tactic. He doesn’t want you to celebrate his impending failure. The bible tells us what’s going to happen to the Satan in the last days and the devil knows his life sentence. He will be thrown into the lake of fire and doomed for all eternity. We will be the last ones standing, true Champions in Christ. As we go on through life and press towards the mark, every point that our team scores should encourage us.
The world is big enough, better yet, God is big enough! The enemy will have you think that the more someone else excels in the world, the less room there is for you to. I guarantee that there are people in this world that only YOU can reach and vice versa. This why you we were purposed with a unique assignment and the bible says in Proverbs 18:16, “A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men.” The world may seem small and opportunities scarce when you’re copying someone else and in their lane. In your lane, there is much more room. When you begin to operate in your specific gifts and talents, the world will get so much bigger real quick! The opportunities are endless.
I know we like to recite the cliche, “What God has for you, is for you” but do we truly understand what that means? If you feel like someone is “in your lane” or copying you, you don’t have to give them the side eye, try to compete with them, or tear them down. When you are truly confident in your calling and in what God has for you, you will trust Him to fight your battles and defend you. He will deal with that person who tries to take advantage of you. Get rid of the worldly mentality that says, “every man for himself” and replace that with, “God is for me.” I don’t have time to defend myself because I’m too busy serving God and His Kingdom and that includes the people in it.
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31
It’s a waste of time and purpose to try and compete with your brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s a waste of time to also judge whether or not you think they’re copying you or trying to compete with you. Let’s be honest, it would be very silly for me to think that I’m the only person in the world that God called to write a book, start a Youtube channel, start a blog, etc. Each one of us have a unique and individual purpose but our calling may be very similar because it is through our callings that we carry out our purpose. God uses our callings as tools to do His will. It is silly to think that you are the only one allowed to use the tools that God provides. Now, that’s not confidence in God’s purpose for your life, that’s just pride. That is why I’m ok with dedicating my life to sharing these tools with other believers. That’s why I’m ok with teaching them skills like graphic design, web-design, self-publishing, starting a blog, or whatever else it may be. I understand that they need these tools to go forth and operate in purpose. In order to do that, they must do what God has called them to do. I know my purpose is to equip believers with the tools and skills they need to walk in theirs. With a purpose like that, you don’t have time to be jealous.. and with a purpose like yours, you don’t either.
Your purpose will NEVER, NEVER just be about you. Your purpose will always be a way to build, edify, or help someone else. Remember, it is bigger than you!!! So why does the enemy try so hard to get us distracted, divided, and envious of one another? Because he thinks that if he could stop us from operating in our God-given purpose and in unity, he could stop God’s perfect will from coming to pass! Let’s not give him an open door. Please, find a sister to support today! You’re not loosing, you’re only adding points to our team!
Other Supporting Scriptures:
- 1 Corinthians 12: 1-27
- My YouTube Channels:
- Deliverance Conference 2016