Faith

Undercover Homosexual Needing Deliverance!

November 17, 2014

I get it. It’s something that you struggle with and it’s a secret. Everyone from your church would look at you with the side eye if you “came out of the closet” and you feel like more people would judge you rather than sit down with you and help you get through this. I was there. I was the undercover homosexual who went to church.

When I finally decided to share my testimony for the first time in my book, Before Saying Yes to the Ring, some people were surprised and angered. They said: “You were never a homosexual!” “Why are you lying?” “You are trying to make up your testimony so that it can seem more dramatic.”

What I was, was good at hiding things. I was good at being a pretend christian. I didn’t wear baggy pants, walk with a limp, nor did I walk around with a girlfriend. Deep down inside I knew homosexuality was wrong and I tried my best to hide it so that I could keep my reputation of being “Miss. Goody Two Shoes.”

But everything on the inside has to manifest on the outside right? Yes, I agree with this principal 100%. But my physical manifestations would take place in private, instead of in public. Everything happened behind closed doors, or in places where no one else would see, but God. It’d be on the computer, in sex chat rooms, through web cam, or on pornographic sites where I’d watch the women have sex for me, even if I wasn’t doing it.

You see, the enemy would tell me… “What you went through wasn’t real. It was all innocent. You were just a child, just experimenting.” I was a smart child and I was exposed to a lot at a young age, especially after being molested. I knew EXACTLY what I was doing and I went through middle school hiding this. Sin is not age-blind. Don’t think you’ll escape the wrath of God just because you’re “young.”

The bible says in Matthew 5:28 – “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Meaning even my thoughts about doing things with women, were just as bad as if I were doing them in person.

I used to be afraid of sharing my testimony. I thought that I couldn’t validate it enough because I didn’t have any crazy pictures of me looking like a stud. But after receiving plenty of messages from people who have read what I’ve gone through, are experiencing the same thing, and look like they never would’ve been struggling with this spirit, I realize that I can’t judge a book by it’s cover. You NEVER know who is struggling with what. Granted, some people will be more obvious than others… but a lot of people wont.

So this is for you, the one who doesn’t have people rebuking you 24-7 or sprinkling Holy water on your head. The one who is often overlooked for deliverance because you’re scared that those same people will judge you… but God knows. He hears your thoughts, He sees the way that you look at those men/women… how your eyes switch, how your heart jumps a beat, how you hide in your bed and look up those pornographic images and videos all night. He sees. You don’t have to wait for a deliverance conference at your church. The Deliverer is with you.

No one prayed with me for my deliverance or laid hands on me and rebuked me. It was a spiritual journey that I went on privately with God. No one even knew it happened except for me and Him. When I shared my testimony back in 2013, that’s the first time people had ever heard it. So here are some steps you can take towards being delivered, privately, from the spirit of homosexuality.

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” – Matthew 6:6.

1. REPENT: Repentance is asking for forgiveness, but then turning your back on your old ways. It’s a confession, a decision, and shift in position. 1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

2. CLEAN HOUSE: You have to take DRASTIC measures if you really want to be delivered. Of course this is a process and most-likely wont happen over night. But please, get rid of the following things. They plant seeds of lust in your heart and feed that spirit of homosexuality. Proverbs 4:23 says: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

  • Get rid of ALL secular music…music about sex, fornication, clubbing, anything associated with any sin. Find a christian radio station. No don’t go to that concert and yes throw out those cd’s.
  • Break up with your boyfriend, girlfriend, partner. You can’t be delivered if you’re still engaging in homosexual activity!
  • Stop going to those pornographic websites! Do what you have to do. Put certain blocks on your computer, get rid of your computer or give it to someone else during this time. Go to your public library or something. Only use the computer when people are around you.
  • Throw away those magazines! Delete those pictures off of your phone and off of your computer!
  • Get rid of all sex toys! Stop masturbating. Put hot sauce on your fingers! (Consult your doctor first of course lol)
  • Stop watching those movies! I’m married, grown, but I hardly even watch pg-13 movies. The media is crazy now-a-days. Even though I was delivered years ago, I’m still serious about guarding my heart. During this season, sell your tv. It’s temporary, you can always get another one. Or just cancel your cable service. Get rid of it.
  • Get rid of all those clothes that are tied to your homosexual experiences or that bring up lustful thoughts.

3. GET FILLED WITH THE WORD: The bible is going to be your weapon during this time. You have to know how to use your weapon or else you just might get hurt. Mediate on and spend time in God’s word.

  • Some of my favorite verses:
    • Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”
    • 2 Corinthians 10:4-6: “(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)  Casting down vain imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.”
    • 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

4. Pass those tests! You will be tested like CRAZY but that is why you must get filled with the word. The word is what you need to “cast down those vain imaginations” and block those lustful seeds that the enemy will try to plant inside of you. Remember, God is always with you and He would never put more on you than you could handle. The more you pass those tests, the easier it will get. I know you can be freed from this.

– Karolyne

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18 Comments

  • Reply Stephanie November 17, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    You are a God send! I just started following you on social media and following your blog a week ago! And I thank God for all that you have shared! I recently just got delivered from Homosexuality and I just think you have shared some really good and helpful information! Thanks!

    • Reply karolyneroberts November 17, 2014 at 7:36 pm

      Awe amen!! I am so happy God could use my blog posts to be a blessing to your life. God bless you!! and keep striving for Him 😉

  • Reply Kiana November 18, 2014 at 4:44 pm

    Wow! This was an amazing read. God bless you, Karolyne.

    • Reply karolyneroberts November 19, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      Thank you sis! God bless you <3

  • Reply Peter November 19, 2014 at 2:42 am

    Thank you for your transparency .I have struggled with porn for the longest . I feel like the Holy Spirit directed me to your blog . Lust has taken my mind to places I didn’t want it to go . May God continue bring deliverance to many through your testimony.

    • Reply karolyneroberts November 19, 2014 at 5:15 pm

      Wow!! God is so powerful, He can break those chains! Just continue to pursue Him. God bless!

  • Reply Mariah January 24, 2015 at 6:46 am

    I’m 15 and currently going through this. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one that feels this exact same way ,and a plan to help get through it. Thank you

    • Reply karolyneroberts January 27, 2015 at 3:45 am

      Wow,

      I’m happy this blessed you. Thanks for being so transparent. Stay encouraged sis and continue seeking Him!

  • Reply Mary June 4, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    I read this post this morning and it has already helped me in tremendous way. I’m so happy He spoke through you to me. Thank you!

  • Reply Anita September 3, 2015 at 5:21 am

    Wow!! I thank God for your obedience in writing this post. I was just having a conversation with one of my girlfriends about this very topic. It was in that convo that I shared with her that I had struggled with homosexuality before and she actually opened up and shared that she had struggled with it too! I’m like why doesn’t any one talk about this?? And now here I am reading this God is soo good. I don’t know you personally but I can tell you are a prayer warrior. God bless you and your beautiful family!! Praying that the Lord takes you even higher in Him <3

    • Reply karolyneroberts September 4, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      Awe amen! God is so faithful and He is so on-time. I’m glad you came across this post and were blessed by it. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. God bless!

  • Reply Regina Noel April 7, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    Wow! Beautiful testimony, God is able! God bless you!!

    • Reply karolyneroberts April 12, 2016 at 3:35 pm

      Amen! God bless you!

  • Reply Mary Carter April 27, 2016 at 3:15 am

    This post helped me so much last year since my story was very very similar. However, lately I’ve been feeling like I haven’t actually been delivered since it was done privately. I’m not sure if that’s just the enemy but I’m glad I came across this post once again.

    • Reply karolyneroberts May 17, 2016 at 10:56 pm

      Hi Mary,

      Sometimes spirits will make you fear that they’ve returned even if they haven’t. Spiritual warfare is a constant battle though, so you honestly have to war to maintain your deliverance. You still have to watch what you’re exposing yourself to and what seeds you let be planted in your heart. Even those who do self-deliverance, may find that they need to seek deliverance through someone else in the body of Christ only because there are somethings that you may be blinded to regarding your situation. All of us are gifted in different areas and there a believers who may be able to discern what it is you may be struggling with. Many times it may not just be that you didn’t get delivered from a specific spirit, but you may have other spirits you’re dealing with that you’re just not aware of at the moment. It is possible that the homosexual spirit that did leave, returned with even more because the house was swept clean, but not filled. Ask yourself this questions:

      What steps did you take after conducting your self-deliverance? Did you fill yourself with God’s word and spirit to replace the spirits that left?

      Did you seek further wisdom from the Lord to see if there was anything else you needed to be delivered from? These are great starting points that you can take in this battle against sin. I wish I knew as much then as I knew last year, but I hope this helps.

      Refer to these scripture references below:
      “When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walks through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. Then he said, I will return into my house from where I came out; and when he is come, he finds it empty, swept, and garnished. Then he goes, and takes with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.” – Matthew 12:43-45

      “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23

      “For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; to another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; to another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues.” – 1 Corinthians 12: 8-10

      “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” – James 5:16

      “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” – Philippians 2:12

  • Reply UduakObong Inyang August 30, 2016 at 11:10 pm

    Thanks for sharing your experience. I have a similar story to yours but it was an addiction to masturbation and pornography. I thank God for leading me out and giving me the grace to overcome it. Although I still struggle with it once in a while which makes me doubt if I’m delivered. But I’ve faith that God has delivered me. My relationship with God is stronger than even before I got addicted. A lot of people are struggling with sexual addiction and my experience has made me want to reach out to them in love rather than judge or push them away.
    Does deliverance mean it will never occur again? Does it happen immediately? Or could it take time for one to be completely free?

    • Reply Karolyne Roberts September 5, 2016 at 6:22 pm

      Hey love,

      Thanks for sharing. I had an addiction to pornography as well… I’m so glad that by the grace of God we’ve both been able to overcome it. Struggling with the temptation does not mean that you aren’t delivered… just don’t give into it. Continue to struggle against it for as long as you need, but stand your ground and use the weapons of spiritual warfare that the bible talks about in Ephesians 6. It is awesome that you want to reach out to those struggling with perversion but make sure that in all things, you are lead by God’s spirit. Bad company corrupts good character and the enemy knows our weaknesses. I know people who tried to help deliver others, only to fall into the same sin again themselves. Deliverance is often a process and can take time. It doesn’t always happen immediately, but you should believe in faith that you are already delivered even before you see the fruit of it. Jesus already won the battle against sin 2,000 years ago on the calvary.

      ————–

      Ephesians 6: 10 – 20

      10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[c] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

      14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.

  • Reply GNe September 28, 2016 at 11:59 pm

    Thank you for being so transparent about what happened to you. I’m in that same position now and now I know what to do instead of hiding those thoughts and shame.

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